The day I put my finger in my anus for the first time. I felt an awkward sensation I had never felt before in my life, along with an intense sense of discomfort. This wasn’t just a random feeling of my finger rubbing against something. It was the moment I felt something slightly warm and rough. All sensations were focused on the entrance to my anus. I don’t believe in God, but just at that moment, I wanted to believe. This is a memory from when I was 10 years old. I guess my atonement began on this day. It may never be forgiven, but I don’t mind. When my anus is stimulated, my nipples strangely become excited as well. This is enough for me